Last night I had a dream, a vivid one. The kind of dream that when you wake up, you wonder if it’s true. I hadn’t had a pregnancy dream since I was pregnant with my son 10 years ago. As much as we LOVE our son, another child is just not on the radar.
I am no stranger to vivid dreaming, my dreams can be so detailed and sometimes disturbing that I could write entire movies based on them and maybe one day I will. Put those nightmares to good use.
The dream I had last night had me reaching for my phone the second I woke.
I dreamed that I was on a train filled with other women coming home from some sort of retreat. On this train, there were new friends, old friends and people I only knew a few days and the theme remained the same.
Babies and positive pregnancy tests.
I could feel my belly swelling and I scrambled to find a pregnancy test on this massive train that we were on.
Just like most dreams, the stream of consciousness is rarely linear. I found myself hovering over a pool of children trying to swim, guiding them to safety if I felt they weren’t ready to swim. This is no different from my early parenting style, helicopter mommy I am. SNAP! back to the train as I try to find my phone. Ugh! This is something I frequently dream about, trying to make a phone call that I can’t make. I manage to FaceTime my husband showing him the positive test and his response echoed my own surprise and dread.
My birthing story was less than a beautiful experience, in my dream I was dreading doing it again. Reflecting on just how traumatic it was by the time I woke from the dream, I grabbed my phone and googled.
“What does it mean to dream about being pregnant?”
You might be ‘pregnant’ with a whole new idea of you. Loewenberg says, “Your subconscious is showing you this ‘work in progress’ in the form of a pregnancy so you will have a better perception of how precious this new thing is to you.” This way, she elaborates, “you will continue to nurture and protect it so that YOU can reach your full potential.” In a way, your creative or new endeavor is your baby and it deserves the same kind of attention as a newborn would.- Professional Dream Analyst Lauri Loewenberg
This analysis rings far more true for me at this very moment in my life. Since coming forward late 2017, the trajectory of my life has changed significantly. I went from focusing on my career as an actress and comedian to shifting my focus to building a positive and inspiring space through community and live-streaming full-time.
It has felt like a re-birth. both scary and incredibly exciting. It’s allowed me, after much online abuse and muzzling to have a platform where I don’t have to get anyone’s permission to broadcast my freedom of speech. It also gives me the control to mute or ban gaslighting and harassment.
A big shoutout to my Melodic Mods ❤ Thanks for looking out for me guys! DLIVE LIVESTREAM
For most of my life, I was told that dreams mean nothing which clearly is not the case. I believed this to the point that I dismissed nightmares that were in fact flashbacks of being assaulted, a symptom of my PTSD.
I will not live my life in this way anymore and one of my goals for 2020 is to jump the year off and reset, refresh. Mind, Body, and Spirit. With that, I am committing to keeping a dream journal and not ignoring my dreams anymore. Good and bad. Perhaps once I start, I will be able to see some patterns and address what’s really going on. I’ll be sure to keep you updated.
What do you frequently dream about? Do you believe dreams have meaning or just a mess of the psyche? I invite you to join me in keeping a dream journal and perhaps we will start to unravel the mysteries of our dreams.