F*ck It

A few weeks ago I decided to get back in the recording studio, something that pains me and leaves me feeling vulnerable AF. I don’t feel my best when I am in the studio because it doesn’t feel like a safe space due to past experiences. Ahem! I tend to recluse and disappear somewhere inside my mind.

It was Starr Jones, then manager for my group Lady Phoenix , that noticed the change. NOBODY before that moment had ever noticed or cared enough to address it. I guess it was acceptable that I retreated and crawled into the hole inside my mind.

Anyway…

Today, I am determined to overcome my traumas. When I was in the studio and started to write, I felt embarrassed describing how I would imagine myself as an artist. A female John Mayer. A storyteller with a guitar reflecting on real things, experiences and emotions.

The producer/songwriter that I was meeting with, Alex Rosales replied, “Then learn to play the guitar and make it happen!” I pondered the suggestion and considered it utterly ridiculous. “I am too old!” (I hate that tape in my head.)

and then I said…. f*ck it!

Sorry, sometimes there is no better word to express that feeling. (Lord, forgive me.)

I want to play the guitar! I have always wanted to play an instrument and I am tired of the limiting belief that I am not young enough to challenge myself and grow. Granted I tried learning the clarinet in elementary school but my teacher was such an ass (sorry again & thank you for your grace) that I hated it and eventually gave it up.

A few weeks later I went on Amazon and bought a basic acoustic guitar because I’m basic b*tch. Sorry, my self-deprecating humor is peeking through. But really, I am proud to say that I have been practicing everyday for hours ever since.

Yay me!

Funny enough, getting to connect with music in this way, where I am the one in control, has been very therapeutic & empowering!

So I want to ask you…what limiting belief are you living out that is holding you back? I want to know! Just as Alex Rosales did for me (purchase his new single Suda) I want to do the same thing for you. GO FOR IT AND…..

F*$%k it! (His grace is sufficient)

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